Frequently Asked Questions

Who are you?
I’m an engineering graduate student from Philadelphia. I started writing a column in my school newspaper’s (The Triangle’s) Science and Technology section in September of 2004, mainly out of boredom. It got such an amazing array of responses that I decided to write it every week, come hell or high water, and I eventually decided to get my own website and put all of the articles on it. The reason that I’ve decided to do this is that a website is more robust than a newspaper column, or even the newspaper’s website. I can lay them out as I please, include as many photos as I please, and there is no maximum length for an article. Also, as much as I love the newspaper’s copy editors, there have been a number of occasions when I submitted an article and they turned it into a pile of words.

Why is your website so ugly?
It's true with ladies, and it's true with websites: the flashy ones may be more popular, but are often devoid of content. I don't need to paint my articles up like whores with fancy graphics, effects, and flashing bells and whistles. If you're the kind of person that prefers style over substance, get back to the frat house, your friends are waiting for you. The site has a black background and white letters to make it easier on readers' eyes. The other way around, you might as well be reading this off of a lightbulb.  

Why aren’t the articles on this site the same as the articles published in the Triangle?
One of the reasons I decided to get my own website was so I could publish the articles the way I wrote them, without interference from semicolon-hating editors. Also, some information had to be left out due to a maximum word count, and here I can publish the uncut, full-length, un-mutilated writings.

So you started this website because you hate the Triangle?
No. Shyunti Das and Pat Xin, the editors of the Sci-Tech section that I’ve dealt with, have been extremely lenient in allowing me to publish a column weekly, bend the paper’s restrictions on both word count and deadlines, and have given me no shortage of help at every turn.

Are you a debunker?
I took the name “the Iron Skeptic” because the Triangle required columnists to have a name for their column. When someone called me to ask what my name would be, I was watching The Iron Chef on TV, so I went with that. I now regret it to some extent. I'm not some guy that wakes up in the morning ready to tout the party line. If what I say seems in line with 'debunkers' or any other group, it's by coincidence, not design.

The Iron Skeptic? Don't you know that iron can't bend, it can only break?
Yes, but iron also gets stronger under stress, smartass. Leave talk like that to the materials engineers.

Why are you doing this?
I got the idea to write the column when I was working in a chemical plant. I was sort of a ‘spare tire’…they hired me, but unless there was some sort of emergency, I did a lot of sitting around. I had just read a book on UFOs written by a historian, which had the tone, more or less, that the government ‘UFO Cover-up’ you hear people talking about so often was motivated by fear that the Soviet Union would use UFOs to their benefit, somehow. I found it extremely interesting and thought more people would like to know.

So, you’ve only been interested in the subject for a year or two? Charlatan!
I got the idea to write columns a few years ago. As a child and later a teenager, I was always interested in the paranormal, though to be honest I find “cryptozoology” more interesting than UFOs. In my younger, more naïve days, I believed everything I read about UFOs, the paranormal, and so on. I was thoroughly convinced they were out there, as well as Bigfoot, ghosts, and the Illuminati. As time went by and I saw more of the world, I became more educated in the ways of mankind, in the ways of science, logic, and reasoning, and, to be honest, became bitter and introverted. These articles are, in part, my penance for being such a gullible, naïve simpleton. I suppose you could say I’ve been interested in the topic, and actively reading up on it, for ten or fifteen years now.

No, really, why are you doing this?
There was an episode of South Park dealing with ‘psychic’ John Edwards where one of the characters says it best. He says something along the lines of “the world is full of important questions: who we are, why we’re here, where we’re going. And we’ll never get answers to these questions when people buy into this silly crap.” If you want to believe in UFOs, fine, but my goal is to ensure that you don’t believe without questioning. Sales of merchandise on the paranormal and UFOs is skyrocketing nationwide; if people put their money, time, and energy into something useful, we’d have a cure for cancer by now.

So, you think that all people that believe in UFOs are simpletons?
No. I believe that when I was younger I was a simpleton. I’ve always viewed my writings as sort of a friendly competition with UFO enthusiasts: I may not believe in the same things they do, but there’s no malice, and there’s certainly nothing personal about it. On the other hand, my dealings with them have been about 80% unpleasant, so sometimes a little bit of anger or bitterness seeps into my writings.

What do you mean, ‘my dealings with them have been about 80% unpleasant’?
When I wrote my first articles, I was totally unprepared for the response they got from the UFO enthusiasts. On the whole, when I receive email about one of my columns, it falls into one of three categories: The author tells me, with a thick slice of smug superiority, that I've got it all wrong. They know the real truth. Sometimes these people accuse me of being a government agent meant to cover up the truth about UFOs. Strangely, none of these people that know the truth ever tell me what it is, and never really comment on anything specific, they just tell me I'm totally wrong. This is the condescending category.

A number of readers have taken the time to speculate on the exact size and quality of my reproductive organs, as well as speculate that some of my close female relatives may be involved in selling sexual favors to sailors. A number of other readers email me along the same lines, claiming that my rigorous defence of the scientific method means that I will never get a job as a scientist. Every scientist I've ever talked to seems to understand that my hobby (this site) has little effect on my profession (materials engineering), but my readers remain undeterred. This is the asshole category.

Death threats. I'm not kidding. I routinely get emails claiming that the writer is going to kill me. Either that, or the writer speculates that I was abducted by aliens and these articles are just a definse mechanism that my brain uses to keep the truth from me. Sort of the way that some people think that whoever makes fun of homosexuals is secretly gay. I guess this logic works some of the time, but I am thoroughly unconvinced that I am really just a space man's puppet. This is the category that gives me a good laugh when I read their emails.

If I were the type to make broad generalizations, I would say that all UFO enthusiasts are childish, illiterate thugs, but I'm not that kind of person. The emails I've gotten generally have in common shitty grammar, a lack of constructive advice, and a lot of name calling. Seriously. Check out my reader feedback page. What I’m trying to say is that if you’re the sort of person that would never send a death threat, vulgar email, or resort to name calling over this stuff, please accept my most humble and heart-felt apologies. Your brethren are exceedingly crude, and sometimes I forget people like you are out there.

Your writing style is no good. Why don't you write in a more refined/ less vulgar/ more constructive/ more academic manner?
If you're looking for articles written by a historian, you might not be satisfied with this site. If you're looking for articles with a highly academic bent, that correlate all the statistics and make grand conclusions about the paranormal, I apologise, but you are likely not in the correct place.

What is boils down to is that my writing style is my writing style. If you dislike it, don't read it, but I am not in the habit of writing in the style of anyone but myself.

Why do all your articles end with “be seeing you”?
It’s a tribute to The Prisoner, starring Patrick McGoohan, the best show that has ever been on television. I have it on good authority that some people see me as prone to exaggeration, but I think I am actually making an understatement when I say that this show is the absolute pinnacle of the visual arts, never to be equaled by the likes of man.

I know you’re wrong. I know, because I was abducted by aliens.
I’d love to talk to you. Please send me an email.

I know you’re right! I’d like to reprint your articles!
Please do, just let me know. To date, articles I’ve written have been translated into Spanish, French, and Danish. I’m kind of pissed at the guys that put them in French and Spanish, because they never told me they were going to copy them. I’ve also been featured on fark.com three times. If you’re from a publication that has space for a column, let me know.

I challenge you to a duel!
Hold your horses, Yosemite. I have a standing challenge that I will go anywhere, anytime, to debate anyone on any topic. However, I’m a student, so as much as I’d like to, I probably won’t be able to travel more than a hundred or so miles anytime soon. However, drop me a line and tell me where you are and what you’d like to argue about. Perhaps we can work something out.

Hey! There are some articles and stuff on here that aren’t about UFOs!
Yeah, well, I do this all myself. I don’t sell ads, nor do I hit people up for donations. Suffice it to say that I can’t afford more than one domain name. So yes, occasionally, you’ll see things on here that I want to see on the internet, most likely slow-cooker recipes, my opinions on Shakespeare, and stuff I had a hard time finding on the internet that I think others might be looking for. Also, a term paper I once wrote on The Prisoner for a class at university.

Are you religious? What sort of religion do you follow?
Yes I am. I’d describe my faith system as a combination of “none of” and “your business.”

What should I do if I really, really don’t like your website?
Not read it.

What should I do if I’m deeply offended by your website?
Not read it.